...

I am writing this at 5:00 PM both hurt, and angry.

It's for kind of a stupid reason too, but stupid shit like this bugs me.

It's Christmas, it's supposed to be about spending time with family and NOT blowing your children off on basically the only time you actually get to spend with them. My father [big surprise there, it's always him when it comes to shit like this] was supposed to be here two hours ago to pick up my brothers and me. He would take us to his house [where he lives with his wife that I hate], we would visit for a while and then he would give us our Christmas presents. He never showed up two hours ago, nor has he called us with a reason why. He's not answering our phone calls, which leaves me feeling like he's blowing us off.

This isn't exactly something that has not happened before. He's done it several times; ditched out during a concert he was supposed to be watching, completely out his two older children for the youngest after promising to take them out to dinner, leaving them home and not in his company, making stupid remarks that really can hurt his children emotionally, not stopping by on a few of the nights he was supposed to bring our dinner while our mom was at clinical until 7 and we had no food to cook, the list just goes on and on.

Don't start thinking that I'm bitter because I'm not getting my presents either. I'm perfectly fine with the ones I've got already and they would be sufficient for this year. I'm seriously not that petty, and if I ever BECOME that petty, I will personally pay a hitman to shoot me in the jugular.

No.

I'm bitter because he's constantly doing things like this: leaving us all waiting and holding our arms out like toddlers, expecting him to be the one to lift us up like real dads are supposed to.

These kinds of things have been building up since he and my mom got back together for nine years when I was six, and now that the holidays have hit and he continues to blow us off constantly and neglect us, I've realized that it's probably only going to get worse as the years go on. After dealing with this for so long, this is finally the straw that has broken the camel's back.

It is now 5:12 PM... and my father has still not called or showed up.

Merry Christmas.